The Poet
by ObsessiveCompulsiveValkyrie
Summary: Darkfic. With the passing of his mother, Squall just wants to be left alone. A strange girl approaches him and claims she can bring her back. Stuff like that is just folklore, right? Contains very, very dark themes. Squall/Rinoa


Welcome to _The Poet_! My first FFVIII story in quite awhile. I think it's the upcoming release of Dissidia 012 that has me wanting to write for my darling lion again.

Alright, so this story is rated T, because only my smutfics rate in M, but be warned: Subjects concerning death, abortion, bringing back the dead, and other forms of necromancy will be discussed. If you feel strongly about these subjects, I ask that you don't read or, at least, don't review with flaming comments on them. This is merely a work of fiction and doesn't represent my personal beliefs. Thank you.

Also, this piece has been edited by the lovely Miss Niqsta! Several of you probably know her. She's freakishly awesome at writing Squinoa fics.

…

Time was dwindling. I knew it. Ellone knew it. Laguna knew it.

Most of all, Mom knew it.

Mom has been sick for years now, but for the first time since the start of her illness, she's had to go back to the hospital for the third time in one month. To the emergency room. Not just check-ups with different specialists. Her lymphoma's only gotten worse. When she was first diagnosed, it was distant. Almost sixty percent of people at that stage have a good survival rate. I guess Mom was in that forty percent that wasn't. The doctors pushed her through to cancer specialists, but she didn't respond well to the treatments.

Sometimes, it hurts to look at her. She's so thin. They say she's down to ninety-seven pounds. She has so much trouble breathing; her whole body shakes when she tries to. Now she's on a ventilator to help her breathe.

I've never been one to lean on others, so it's up to me to be the pillar through all this. Ellone, having been adopted by Mom before she'd met my father, was naturally attached. Laguna… Well, he's never been one to hold up well under pressure. I'm the tough one. I don't show emotion. I'm Squall Leonhart, Poker Face extraordinaire.

What a load of bullshit.

I'm hurting, too, but no one cares. I mean, Mom is hurting the most. I'm not saying people should ignore her and help me out, but a little slack would be nice. My best friend, Zell, is the only one who really gets me, but he does what he can to change the subject to try to keep my spirits up. I mean, it's a good thought and I appreciate the distraction, but it'd be nice to have someone to talk to.

I know I haven't always been around for Mom, but I did what I could to support my family. I stayed out of the way, I worked odd jobs after school to help with income, I even learned how to fight to protect my family. Hell, who could even call us a family anymore? I mean, my dad is Laguna Loire, Mom is Raine Loire by marriage, my sister was adopted at the age of five and kept her birth name, Du Burgh, and I was born before my parents married, so I have Mom's maiden name of Leonhart.

And now, we're all falling apart. Mom was the glue that kept us together. If it wasn't for her, I would've run away from home years ago. I hate Laguna. He never took action while Mom was sick. He never worked hard to find a cure. He'd just come home, get Mom comfortable, poor a scotch, and cry silently. And I love my sister, but she lived in an apartment until three months ago, when she moved home again to help around the house. She gave up everything because Laguna can't hold a job. She came home to give her hard-earned money to him to stay in this house.

This house where I grew up, happy with Mom and Ellone. No matter how much Laguna tried to be a part of my life, I rejected him. We mix like oil and water. Our personalities clashed and I seriously question whether or not I'm his son. The only reason I don't ask is because I look almost just like he did at my age. Well, without the scar.

My scar. I got it when I was twelve. We were having a family barbeque and Mom and Ellone had gone inside to get some hamburger buns and condiments. Laguna was scooping burgers off the grill with the spatula and was messing around like the ass he is and 'accidentally' knocked over the whole grill, fire and all. I was running past, chasing Zell across the yard, and I jumped by reflex. I stumbled, fell back, and landed on a pile of rotted wood from our long-since-replaced deck and couldn't get a grip on the ground quickly enough. My hand gripped the wood and a rusted nail went straight through, between my metacarpals. I slipped, and my face scrapped over a piece of metal.

I remember waking up in the emergency room with bandages covering my forehead, left eye, and right hand. Since then, I've had this lovely scar on my face and chronic welt on my hand that inflames now and then.

Honestly, can you blame me for hating the bastard?

And that's what led up to today. Mom in the hospital. Elle sitting by the window, knitting. She'd learned how to knit from Mom. It's always been something she did when she was tired or stressed. Laguna's pacing by the door. I'm half-hoping that a doctor will come in and shove him to the floor.

Me? I'm slumped in the chair next to Elle, whittling a piece of wood with my Swiss Army knife. Mom loves the smell of outdoors, so I brought some pieces of timber from the backyard into her room to liven up the smell. The doctors say 'any day now.' She could die any day now.

…

_Beep… Beep…_

It's been a year since then. Elle sits in an armchair and I lean against the wall next to her. Laguna is sitting in the other chair, pulled up by her bed. It's quiet except for the sound of Mom's heart monitor. I'm sick of this! I'm fucking sick of this!

_Beep… Beep… _

She's been sick for five years. It's been almost two since the doctors said she wouldn't get better. She should have died in the first year, but Laguna told them to put her on the ventilator. He told them to give her all the medications. He's the one who convinced her to go through chemo.

_Beep… Beep… _

Why did he have to be so selfish? She's in pain! Doesn't he see that?

_Beep… Beep… _

But now, I'm eighteen and a senior in high school. I missed most of last year, so I have to retake most of my senior classes. Mom won't live to see me graduate, she won't see Elle finish college, she won't see either of us get married.

_Beep… Beep… _

She won't meet her grandchildren, she won't see her fiftieth wedding anniversary, she won't get to see my twentieth birthday.

_Beep… Beep… _

"Goddamnit, Laguna! Just let her go!"

_Beeeeep!_

I stare in shock. Mom…

Doctors and nurses come rushing in, pulling a cart with them and shoving Laguna to the side by us. Too many people are in the way and I can't even see Mom anymore. Elle slowly rises to her feet and wraps her arms around one of mine.

Mom…

I really don't remember what happened over the last few minutes. It felt like hours, but, slowly, the doctors and nurses dissipated. Her main doctor, a woman dressed in blue scrubs and a white jacket, slowly raises her eyes to us. "I'm sorry…"

_I'm sorry…_

God, I hate those words…

_I'm sorry…_

Why? I can't take this anymore! I gently pry Elle's fingers off my arm and run. Run past the doctor, run through the halls, run out the door.

And don't look back.

…

It hasn't even been a full day since Mom passed. I'm back at school the next day, though. I just can't sit at home while Elle and Laguna are crying all the time. It doesn't suit me. I need to be away from that. It's lunch time. Most of the school knows that Mom died yesterday. Balamb is a small town and any news travels fast. I owe most of that to Zell's mom. She's a born gossip, but it's not always a bad thing.

I've had five girls give me sympathy flowers and another twelve people—half teachers—give me cards. I don't need this. I don't need people reminding me that I should be sad.

I need people to leave me alone while I figure out what I should do.

"Hey."

I'm sitting on the brick wall in the outside courtyard. I'm usually left alone here. Usually.

I turn slowly to see a girl standing there, dark raven hair with brown smears in it. Her bright blue outfit is a complete contrast to the black school uniform. Beats me why she's not wearing it. I've never heard about a kid in these grades who doesn't wear the uniform.

She smiles and drapes herself gracefully on the two-and-a-half foot wall, reaching into a lunch bag and pulling out an apple before crunching into it. She just sits there and smiles, watching me curiously while eating her food.

I glance at her slightly and raise an eyebrow. "Yes?"

She smiles wider and chucks the core of her apple out into the Balamb fields. "I just wanted you to see my outfit."

Okay… This is one weird girl.

"I know we don't have any classes together, but I wore this just for your family."

"…What?"

"Duh." She reaches out and swats at the back of my head. "Light blue is the color of celebration for the return of a woman to the cycle of rebirth."

Why did she just make that sound like it was the most obvious thing in the world?

"White is the color for men. I wear light blue a lot. This is the first time I've gone out of uniform, but I wanted to let you know that someone in this school is happy for you."

Happy? I glare at her and snarl. "_Happy?_ Why the hell are you _happy?_ My mother is dead!"

She shrugs and twists to sit facing out to the fields. "So is mine, in case you care."

I sigh. "I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"Don't be sorry, silly! It's a good thing! She escaped this life and moved onto the next!"

Okay, this girl is bonkers.

She holds her hand out with a bright smile. "I'm Rinoa, by the way."

I do kinda recognize her name. Maybe we had some classes together before.

Rinoa sits next to me in silence while my thoughts drift away. I miss Mom. I remember being a kid and running downstairs, all set for school, and she'd be standing in the kitchen, a packed lunch all set for me. She always made my meals from scratch. It wasn't ever cheap store-bought lunch packs. It was always some rice and veggies or _real_ macaroni and cheese. Never the boxed stuff. She did that for as long as she could.

Once I was eleven, I started learning her recipes and started making dinner when she couldn't. Ellone took over with cleaning and laundry. Laguna didn't do a thing. He never tried. He acted like he was the one who was sick!

"I can bring her back."

"What?" I turn to face Rinoa. She whispered so quietly, I wasn't sure I'd heard her right.

"I said," she turns to face me, "I can bring her back."

I have no idea what she's talking about. "What are you talking about?"

"Your mother. I can bring her back."

Okay, that crossed a line. I don't care if I sound like an ass anymore. "Don't be stupid. You can't bring back the dead!"

She stands up and faces the fields, her hands placed proudly on her hips. "I can!"

"It's not possible. Quit claiming to do something scientifically impossible."

She sighs and looks down at the toes of her boots. "You're right. I can't. I was just trying to cheer you up."

"That wasn't the right way to do it."

"Sorry." She looks mildly repentant for a moment, before turning to look at me with a bright smile. "I know! To make up for it, I'm inviting you over to my house for dinner! I'll cook and you can relax."

That… didn't sound too bad. It'd at least buy me some more time away from Elle and Laguna. I nod slowly. "Alright, but I'll help cook. I'm pretty good and the more my mind stays busy, the better."

"Alrighty!" She winks and jumps up. "Then it's a date! Wanna come over right after school? We could do some homework or something before dinner."

I nod again as I pack up for class. Besides, even if she was a bit bonkers, she was kinda cute.

In retrospect, 'bonkers' was an understatement.

…

Thank you for reading! Reviews are love!

-Valk


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